Sex vs Masturbation

Both partnered sex and masturbation tend to lead to orgasms, so does that make them interchangeable?

 

If someone in a relationship masturbates, does that mean that they are dissatisfied with their partner?

If someone has the belief that partnered sex and masturbation are indeed equivalent, then it makes sense that engaging in solo activities would be seen as some sort of a (negative) comment on a couple's shared sex life. After all, why would you do this by yourself if you could do it with your partner?

This line of thought presumes that your partner is actually available and interested at the times that you are. They may not be. And while it can feel comforting to know that all of your partner’s sexual energy is directed towards you, this can be a double-edged sword if you then feel obligated to satisfy those desires every time or if your partner resentfully feels denied when you’re not in the mood. This dynamic can be especially problematic when the partners have significantly different sex drives which then almost guarantees that the partner with lower desire will feel hounded and the one with higher desire will feel rejected.

But let’s take a look at whether sex and masturbation really are the same. While both can lead to sexual pleasure and release, does the end result necessarily define them? If so, is grabbing a slice of pizza on the run the same thing as sharing a romantic meal with your partner? After all, in both cases you satisfy your hunger, but good luck trying to convince your partner that the one can substitute for the other. If this interchangeability doesn’t apply to hunger, then why do some people think that it applies to sexual desire?

Masturbation presents an interesting contradiction—an extremely large percentage of people in committed relationships masturbate at least sometimes, yet too many couples don’t actually talk about it with each other. If you don’t know about your partner’s masturbation habits, let alone what they enjoy about it, then it’s easy to assume that sex and masturbation are the same for them. But is that assumption valid? If you are happy in your relationship and sex life, then perhaps it doesn’t matter that much what your partner does on their own time, but if your partner’s known or suspected masturbation makes you feel uncomfortable or if you feel the need to hide your own, then perhaps you would both be better off talking about it and replacing those assumptions with accurate information. For example, if finding evidence of your partner’s masturbation makes you doubt your attractiveness or sexual skills, then you probably would be better off finding out if that is actually why your partner masturbates occasionally. Maybe they just enjoy taking a little time to enjoy themselves without feeling any responsibility for anyone else. Maybe they’re just bored, or tired, or stressed out. Maybe they’re just horny and impatient about it. You can’t know for sure unless you ask.

It may be worth spending some time thinking about how masturbation fits into your overall sex life and relationship, then talking with your partner about it. Some questions to consider:

• What have you been taught about masturbation—by family, friends, and society?
• How does being single versus in a relationship change how you feel about masturbation?
• How do you each feel about masturbation—your own and each other’s?
• Do you and your partner know about each of your solo activities—how often, where, when, why, and what you do? If not, why not?
• How do you feel about these solo activities? Would you like to know more?
• How is masturbation similar or different from partnered activities for each of you?
• How does masturbation increase or decrease your interest in partnered activities?
• What can you and your partner do in relation to masturbation to improve both of your overall sexual satisfactions?
  
  
  

  This article is neither against nor in favour of masturbation or sex!

All you need to know about masturbation!

Research has found that among adolescents aged 14–17 years in the United States, around 74 percent of males and 48 percent of females masturbate. Among older adults, roughly 63 percent of men and 32 percent of women between 57 and 64 years of age masturbate. People masturbate for many reasons. These include pleasure, enjoyment, fun, and tension release. Some individuals masturbate alone, while others masturbate with a partner.

Masturbation myths

 

Most claims about masturbation are not backed up by science. There is often no scientific evidence to show that masturbation causes any of the adverse effects suggested. Masturbation will not cause:

• blindness
• hairy palms
• impotence later in life
• erectile dysfunction
• penis shrinkage
• penis curvature
• low sperm count
• infertility
• mental illness
• physical weakness

Masturbation side effects

Masturbation is harmless. Some people may experience chafing or tender skin if they are too rough, but this will usually heal in a few days.
If men frequently masturbate within a short space of time, they may experience a slight swelling of the penis called an edema. This swelling usually disappears within a couple of days.

Other potential side effects include:

Guilt

 

Some people who worry that masturbation conflicts with their religious, spiritual, or cultural beliefs may experience feelings of guilt. However, masturbation is not immoral or wrong, and self-pleasure is not shameful.
Discussing feelings of guilt with a friend, healthcare professional, or therapist that specializes in sexual health might help a person to move past feelings of guilt or shame that they connect with masturbation.

Decreased sexual sensitivity

 

If men have an aggressive masturbation method that involves too tight a grip on their penis, they can experience decreased sensation. A man can resolve this over time with a change of technique.Enhanced stimulation, such as using a vibrator, may increase arousal and overall sexual function in both men and women.

 
Women who use a vibrator have reported improved sexual function and lubrication, while men experienced an improvement in erectile function.

Prostate cancer

The jury is out as to whether masturbation increases or decreases the risk of prostate cancer. Researchers need to conduct more studies before they can reach a conclusion.
A 2003 study demonstrated that men who ejaculated more than five times each week during their 20s were one third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer than those who ejaculated less often.
Researchers speculate that the reduced risk was because frequent ejaculation may prevent the build-up of cancer-causing agents in the prostate gland.
A similar link between frequent ejaculation and a lower risk of prostate cancer was discovered in a 2016 study. Researchers found that men who ejaculated 21 times per month or more had a reduced risk of developing prostate cancer.
In contrast, a 2008 study found that frequent sexual activity during a man’s 20s and 30s increased his risk of prostate cancer, especially if he masturbated regularly.

Disrupting daily life

 In rare cases, some individuals may masturbate more than they desire, which may:

• cause them to miss work, school, or important social events
• interrupt a person’s daily functioning
• affect their responsibilities and relationships
• serve as an escape from relationship issues or substitute for real-life experiences

Someone who thinks they might be adversely impacted by their masturbation practice should speak with a healthcare professional.
A doctor or counselor may suggest talk therapy to determine ways that they could manage their sexual behavior.
Consulting a sex therapist may also help with coping strategies for excessive masturbation. To locate a local sex therapist, a person can visit the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).

Health benefits of masturbation

Masturbation also has few physical and mental health benefits.
Few studies focus specifically on the benefits of masturbation, but research suggests that sexual stimulation, including stimulation through masturbation, can:

• reduce stress
• release tension
• enhance sleep quality
• boost concentration
• elevate mood
• relieve menstrual cramps
• alleviate pain
• improve sex

Masturbation has also been identified as a strategy to improve sexual health by promoting intimacy, exploring self-pleasure, desires, and needs, reducing unwanted pregnancies, and preventing sexually transmitted infections.
 

This article is neither against nor in favour of masturbation!

Dark Circle: Causes and Treatment

Dark circles are most common in people who are elderly or have a genetic predisposition to this condition or are from non-white ethnic groups. While fatigue may seem like the most logical explanation for this condition, there are a number of factors that can contribute to dark circles under the eyes. In most cases, they are no cause for concern and do not require medical attention. Read on to learn more.

What causes dark circles?

There are a number of contributing factors for dark circles. Some common causes of include:

Fatigue

Oversleeping, extreme fatigue, or just staying up a few hours past your normal bedtime can cause dark circles to form under your eyes. Sleep deprivation can cause your skin to become dull and pale, allowing for dark tissues and blood vessels beneath your skin to show. Lack of sleep can also cause fluid to build underneath your eyes, causing them to appear puffy. As a result, the dark circles you see may actually be shadows cast by your puffy eyelids.

Age

Natural aging is another common cause of those dark circles beneath your eyes. As you get older, your skin becomes thinner. You also lose the fat and collagen needed to maintain your skin’s elasticity. As this occurs, the dark blood vessels beneath your skin become more visible causing the area below your eyes to darken.

Eye strain

Staring at your television or computer screen can cause significant strain on your eyes. This strain can cause blood vessels around your eyes to enlarge. As a result, the skin surrounding your eyes can darken.

Allergies

Allergic reactions and eye dryness can trigger dark circles. When you have an allergic reaction, your body release histamines as a response to harmful bacteria. Other than causing uncomfortable symptoms — including itchiness, redness, and puffy eyes — histamines also cause your blood vessels to dilate and become more visible beneath your skin. Allergies can also increase your urge to rub and scratch the itchy skin around your eyes. These actions can worsen your symptoms, causing inflammation, swelling, and broken blood vessels. This can result in dark shadows beneath your eyes.

Dehydration

Dehydration is a common cause of dark circles under your eyes. When your body is not receiving the proper amount of water, the skin beneath your eyes begins to look dull and your eyes look sunken. This is due to their close proximity to the underlying bone.

Sun overexposure

Overexposure to the sun can cause your body to produce an excess of melanin, the pigment that provides your skin with color. Too much sun — particularly for your eyes — can cause pigmentation in the surrounding skin to darken.

Genetics

Family history also plays a part in developing dark circles under your eyes. It can be an inherited trait seen early in childhood, and may worsen as you age or slowly disappear. Predispositions to other medical conditions — such as thyroid disease — can also result in dark circles beneath your eyes.

Treatment

At-Home treatments

Treatment for dark eye circles depends on the underlying cause. However, there are some home remedies that can help manage this condition. Some of the more common methods include:

• Apply a cold compress. A cold compress can help reduce swelling and shrink dilated blood vessels. This can reduce the appearance of puffiness and help eliminate dark circles. Wrap a few ice cubes in a clean washcloth and apply to your eyes. You can also dampen a washcloth with cold water and apply it to the skin under your eyes for 20 minutes for the same effect. Repeat this process if the cloth becomes warm or if the ice melts.
• Get extra sleep. Catching up on sleep can also help reduce the appearance of dark circles. Sleep deprivation can cause your skin to appear pale, making the dark circles more obvious. Allow yourself seven to eight hours of rest to prevent dark circles from appearing.
• Elevate your head. While sleep deprivation can play a part in producing those dark bags under your eyes, sometimes it’s how you sleep. Elevate your head with a few pillows to prevent fluid from pooling under your eyes which can make them look puffy and swollen.
• Soak with tea bags. Applying cold tea bags to your eyes can improve their appearance. Tea contains caffeine and antioxidants that can help stimulate blood circulation, shrink your blood vessels, and reduce liquid retention beneath your skin. Soak two black or green tea bags in hot water for five minutes. Let them chill in the refrigerator for 15 to 20 minutes. Once they’re cold, apply the teabags to your closed eyes for 10 to 20 minutes. After removing, rinse your eyes with cool water.
• Conceal with makeup. While makeup and cosmetics do not cure dark eye circles, they can help to camouflage them. Concealers can cover dark marks so they blend in with your normal skin color. However, as with any topical treatment or makeup product, use proper care. Some products can cause your symptoms to worsen and may trigger an allergic reaction. If you begin to experience irregular symptoms from any topical treatment, stop use immediately and schedule a visit with your doctor.

Medical treatments

For a more effective and permanent solution, some medical treatments are available to reduce the appearance of dark circles. Some of the more common methods include:

• chemical peels to reduce pigmentation
• laser surgery to resurface the skin and enhance skin tightening
• medical tattoos to inject pigment into thinning skin areas
• tissue fillers to conceal blood vessels and melanin that are causing skin discoloration beneath your eyes.
• fat removal to remove excess fat and skin, revealing a smoother and more even surface
• surgical implants of fat or synthetic products 

Before deciding on any cosmetic procedure, discuss your options with a doctor.